The Shy Soul – A Hidden Wholeness

 

“I am a Seeker, a vessel empty and useless, a bad seed fallen by the way” —

 

These are the lines from a Dolly Parton Song – titled I Am A Seeker. 

An empty vessel, a bad seed, the song carries a message of where we have been or where we maybe at this moment in our life.  A soul without light and purpose, where every footstep we take is backwards, when every path the wrong direction.   The song continues, “ you are the teacher, you are the keeper.”  Who and where is that teacher, the keeper of keys to our soul?  That is the journey  the journey we all must take – we are all seekers.

 

And within the soul of that seeker there sits a flame - awaiting fuel for it’s fire.  That fuel is found in many spiritual places,  writings and words of great teachers.  As the seeker continues his quest for truth, truth will reveal itself in the words and writings that sit before him.  A book here, a scripture there, the voice in a song set to touch the heart and soul. 

 

A writer I came upon a few years ago at a bookstore in O’Hare Airport is a man by the name of Parker J. Palmer.  It was in the from a little book entitled , Let Your Life Speak.  This was my first encounter with a Quaker writer and I was so taken back by the its content of this little book I forwarded it on to my brother who is a Catholic deacon and a Chaplin at a recovery center.  I then ordered another of his books,  A Hidden Wholeness, the title he took from the monk I wrote about prior.  In exploring Palmer’s beliefs I had come full circle to that of Merton  – what a hidden wholeness just in that experience, but Palmer had more to teach me.  In both Let You Life Speak and in A Hidden Wholeness, Palmer talks candidly about the shyness of the soul, a creature who if in our current social circle should attempt to reveal itself is subject to ridicule and question that too often sends the soul retreating from the worlds storm clouds. 

 

And in this I must ask myself, - Am I a Shelter or am I the Storm - for the souls around me?   How can I fill my vessel as a seeker and help others fill theirs in this world without the fear of ridicule and retreat?  To say I have the answer to these questions I would be speaking falsely - for it is a daily journey and the steps I take are often times backwards. 

 

Parker Palmer writes in A Hidden Wholeness : 

 

“The soul wants to give us life and wants us to pass that gift along, to become life giving to a world that deals to much in death.”

 

May the path you walk in the world be one that is life giving and receiving, and may it feed the flame of your soul in all you choose to do.                         

 

…   signed bkm 

 

 

Thoughts on Solitude – Where am I Going?

We all seem to have periods in our life when we just throw up our hands and ask ourselves,”where am I going?” ( I am choosing to repost this write up from last year, because this is one of those times in my life.  I feel I am allowed myself to wonder from my own intention in starting Soul Intentions and will seek to refocus.  I am a lover of Merton’s compassion and comtemplative nature  and am certain anyone who reads his work will come away feeling peace.)  If you are like me you add to that question, ”why did I do that?”or “what was I thinking?”  These times are usually at a turning point in our life generally at a time of loss, could be in a death, divorce or when our ego can no longer sustain or supply what our heart is crying out for.  And though we never thought our original plan would have ended this way it did end; maybe that is the key right there, our original plan, we placed our faith and our lives in a plan of our own design.  

Thomas Merton knew this feeling all to well as he sought out his own place in a universe of questions with few answers.    In reading his prayer you will find that he surrendered unconditionally not only to his God, but unconditionally to his own humanness  “Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.”

In my own humanness I have to continually come back to prayers like Merton’s to allow my soul to reground itself in life’s greater purpose - surrendering my purpose to ONE who knows where I am going. 

Thomas Merton’s Prayer

 LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude”

The Myth Maker

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am a God lover

I am the folk artist

I am the story

I am the myth-maker

 

I walk in the light and dwell in the shadow

I am Poseidon’s lover

Apollo’s chariot

I am the road less traveled

And the footprints upon it

I am the myth-maker

 

I am the tree of enlightenment

I am the eternal water that feeds it

I am a God lover

I am the Phoenix and the fire

I am the myth-maker

 

I am Shiva

The daughter of Zion

I am the Lady of the Lake

I am the Lamb

I am the bed of P’an-Chin-Lien –

I am the Immaculate Heart

 

I am calm and chaos in perfect balance

Dancing through space

Spinning in time

On the head of a needle you can not pass through

I have fallen through the crack

of Hades , rescued by the

Sword of Michael

I am the Serpent and I am the Garden

 

I come from the dream time

And will return to the Father

Pacha- mama is my Mother

The Great Spirit my breath

I am the word and the wind

Who will hear my voice?

 

I am the myth-maker

I am the storyteller

I am a God lover

 

I am—-

 

bkmackenzie

copyrighted 2009

 

The Road

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

upon the road

I came across a paper

written, typed – some parts, illegible

the paragraphs and incomplete sentences

indicating someone

had passed away

where, now –

that was all unclear

the part that was clear

was the grief -

the pangs of loneliness

left behind for the bearer

this torch fate now handed to me—

why me?

clutching the orphaned words -

I ran 

the torch burning

I repeating, “don’t cry, don’t cry”  

to who?

there was

only me -

and the road - 

and the words -

we cried together

 

     

bkmackenzie copyrighted 2008