Soul Intention

June 20, 2008

Ending To My Lookingglass Story —- signed bkm

 

 

 

I always start at the ending.  It could be the ending of anything that has an ending, which is literally everything that is blessed with a beginning.   It is an unlikely story for most who have a bazaar tendency to begin at the beginning of things that have a beginning, but these people do, more times than not, never get to the ending.  

 

 I choose to shield myself from that group of humans choosing instead to follow the path of white rabbits and one-handed drummers.    I came upon this trait quite early in my life - not from being hit in the head, though that did happen when a rock who thought it would stop there on its course of travels to say hello, did just that.  And I replied “Hell oh!” 

 

No, No this extreme backward pleasure came upon me while visiting a woodland on the backside of the 40 acre field that was the home of a wild stream of creatures who within their treasures held a bottle. A bottle  that could never be emptied.   These gnome-like creatures though short in stature were tall in numbers.   I say tall in numbers because they stood on each others shoulders to get the best view of what was happening below.   I could have told them just to ask the guy at the bottom of the gnome ladder since he saw what was happening below better than anyone else.  Especially better than  the gnome on the very top who was much more concerned about the strength of the bottom gnome’s shoulders than what he was actually seeing from up there.   But I figured that they had to learn for theirs-elf’s, “like the rest of us,” my father would always say.   That reminds me why I came to the woods in the first place to find out what was there “like the rest,” of the humans who had stepped here before.  And all the gnomes shouted, “Here, Here! No humans have ever been here.” I echoed, “Oh Dear.”

 

Well it is time to get back to the story at hand, which is why we are starting at the end of this story.  The Bottle That Can Not Be Emptied was filled with the endings of stories from people who never finished what they had started; so the endings had to go somewhere and that somewhere was not over the rainbow like everybody thought, but into this bottle that could never be emptied.   Can you believe it?  I could not either, at first , until I asked the gnome holding up his fellow country gnomes above.   I said, “ Sir, Gnome is this truth you are speaking here? That this flowing liquid of life coming from this bottle labeled, Bottle That Can Not Be Emptied is all endings to stories that will never be completed by humans?   He said, “Yes.”  Well, that was good enough for me.   I believed him and vowed never, never, never not to finish something again.

 

Later that night upon arriving at my place of abiding with the rest of my family of humans I sat and had dinner.   We talked about a lot of different subjects, but I refused to tell them of my visit in the woods behind the 40 acre field.   I did however, watch their every move and listened to their every word hoping I would here of an ending to anything that one of them had started.   To my gravest of fears that did not happen, so I had to make a decision right then and there.   I decided I would always and forever, begin at the end of everything I did, therefore I would finish everything and my endings would never wind up in the Bottle That Can Not Be Emptied.  (Is that clever or what?)

Within the next moments of moments I left my dinner and  my conversation.    Went to end my bath before drawing the water, and in preparing for bed I placed my feet on my pillow and covered the tips of my hair for a good mornings sleep.  I proceeded to dream of yesterday and what I would do then.

    

Well, I have to begin my story now, so thanks for helping me with the ending.  

 

signed bkm —

 

 

 

May 29, 2008

Your Greatest Vice

“A man knows when he has found his vocation when he stops thinking about how to live and begins to live.  …………..When we are not living up to our true vocation, thought deadens our life, or substitutes itself for life, or gives in to life so that our life drowns out our thinking and stifles the voice of conscience.  When we find our vocation – thought and life are one.”

Thomas Merton –Thoughts in Solitude

 

Thomas Merton in these few sentences gives us clear explanation of how we will know if we are living what our Soul’s intented purpose.   “…when he stops thinking about how to live and begins to live”  - “thought and life are one    It sounds so simple – maybe too simple for most of us,  especially in a world of complex decision making.   Taking time to listen to our souls is difficult at best with a cell phone ringing in one hand and an office phone ringing within arms reach. 

 

To truly find what we love to do, what we were meant to do, is usually to find what comes to us naturally - without struggle or meditation; but once that door is opened there will be no shutting it until our life here is done, and that may be the one fear that prevents us from fulfilling it.

 

“Once writing has become your major vice and greatest pleasure only death can stop it.”  Ernest Hemingway

 

Soul Intention

May 20, 2008

In Writing

 

in writing I cast my heart

very much alone

            in a  void

            in a crevasse

 in a labyrinth with a quill

 

castles all around-

            left naked

 without the two buck toll

 to pay the greedy gatekeeper

 at the entrance to my soul

 

            up going Jacobs ladder

 to scale the Kingdom’s wall

         I read a message in the mortar

 of a prior writers fall -

 

 taking focus on the moment

        I glanced from where I came

                     I saw Jesus in the junk-yard

                       Buddha without shame –

 corruption in the structure

        only magnified the pain – what gain?

 

 ascending upward

  to the underground – what left unfound?

  but a virgin in a breadbox

  recording a world

            with no sound –

 

 she motioned – enter

            the apparition fell away

       leaving a mirror and a mantra

       only without prayer

       and a writer rapt in parchment

 ink just laughing everywhere 

 

                                  bkmackenzie

 

                               

May 17, 2008

The Last Romantic

Elizabeth Barrett married Robert Browning on September 2, 1846 and died in his arms on June 29th, 1861

The Last Romantic

Give me Barrett and Browning, Shelley,
Burns and the Lord
Byron, the words of muses, long before
Wastelands were heard,
crying fro recognition,
crying for a day called their own;
just give me Blake’s, Tyger with eyes blazing,
in fearful symmetry, and give me
Keats, before I have fears that I may cease be
no more, and pass into nothingness

No joy can I find, in naked howling minds
destroyed by madness; children screaming in the
stairway, let me leave this world, frozen to
melt another day, not this day;
this day, I shall Meet in aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to the tender light, and sip wine
with the Lord by candlelight

In serene drunkenness these words
will be my days, my nights, at will –
Escape me? Never –lost I would be
without my Beloved! While I am I,
and Elizabeth you are you
Redefined past principles form on
My letters! All dead paper, mute and white!
Is that you Elizabeth?

It will come death, my calendar
marked by fate, And, friends,
dear friends, -when it shall be
That this low breath is gone from me
,
My last plea, and will is only before
that last door locked, that my
left hand shall bear a volume of Browning;
my right Barrett’s Sonnets
crossing my heart

bkmackenzie

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